Romance & Reality: The Perfect Marriage

The thing about life is that it's usually not all peaches and cream, butterflies and roses, babies and unicorns. The truth is life - with all its trials, tribulations and responsibilities- can be a pain in the backside. So, why do many authors feel as if a romance novel has to ONLY consist of perfect scenarios followed by a happily-ever-after?

Don't get me wrong. I'm a sucker for those books as much as the next female who hopes there is that perfect man out there waiting to sweep me off my feet. From the first romance novel I picked up in high school, I had this crazy idea that when "the one" found me we were going to ride off into the sunset, hand-in-hand with nothing but a bright future ahead of us. From then on I searched for him, comparing him to my ideal man (who was created for me in the paperback books I buried my nose in on the bus rides home from school). Imagine my disappointment and heartache when I learned life did not work that way. At all. For anyone.

I admit. My books can be a bit harsh. There is no Hollywood damsel in distress who dangles helplessly in danger until she can be rescued by the strapping young man who comes out of nowhere. Instead, my characters have lives of their own and come with baggage that, like real life, will weigh down on the budding relationship. You may even find a relationship that is reluctant to fire up because of that baggage. Why not? Isn't that how real life works?

Now at this point, you're probably arguing that when you pick up a book you want to be swept away to a far-away place, preferably as far away from reality as you can get. But, seriously, don't you want it to be the least bit believable? Don't you want that drama that comes with relationships? Don't you want that moment when you are chewing your nails because the heroine is being impossible because she refuses to be locked in as some guy's territory? Or what about the hero who - even though he knows he cannot live without her - insists on playing it a bit too cool so he won't look like a punk? You know you like it. I KNOW I do.

Maybe it's me. Maybe I crave that element of drama that does not include someone getting physically hurt or murdered, or even the chance of that happening. Maybe I'm addicted to all the wrong that could happen if you leave two people to putter through their relationship on their own. I think that might be it. After all, I have read the play Romeo & Juliet countless times (I own a leather bond copy) with hopes that it will end differently. I have even watched the version starring Leonardo DiCaprio & Claire Danes time and time again - sitting on the edge f my seat wishing, hoping, praying even,- that she will open her eyes before he pours that vile of poison in his mouth. Dammit! Why didn't he spit it out!

My point is. Somewhere in the back of our minds we read these novels to find answers. We need assurance that everything is going to work out for the better. We cling to the hope that even though we are in a crappy situation, with an out-of-shape person who has a mediocre job and living in a one bedroom apartment, it's enough that they love us. The idea that a recovering drug addict will always be on the brink but is willing to pull their crap together for you is assurance that anything is possible. No. He doesn't have to be filthy rich. No. she does not have to be flawlessly beautiful; because if you're truly in love all you will see is perfection anyway. Yes. Love can blossom amidst the crazy, whirlwind of personal garbage and bulls#!$. Why not? It does for me everyday I sit at my computer.

So, no matter what you want to believe or where you want to go. Fact is, when you pick up that book, you're looking for assurance that love is perfect and will find you right on time. And it will. Life is about ying/yang. Sweet/sour. Ups/downs. Without reality, the romance part is just a dream to wake up from. Don't you want to know that true love is real and waiting for you too?

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